How to show up for survivors of domestic violence
Domestic abuse cannot always be seen. But it can be heard.
In October, hundreds of community members joined law enforcement, family shelters, counseling services and advocates who raised a megaphone for survivor stories during Domestic Violence Awareness Month.
Some are repeat cases, says Sioux Falls Police Department detective Melinda Mitchell. Others are the ones you wouldn’t expect. But all contribute toward the 1,300 domestic violence reports Sioux Falls sees annually.
And that number is increasing every year, Mitchell says.
“You think domestic violence doesn’t happen here,” says Peter Hauck, whose wife, Alicen Hauck, is an area counselor who used to work with the Children’s Home Shelter for Family Safety (CHSSD, formerly the Children’s Inn). “But it’s in every community, every school, every office and every household. These things happen every day, and they thrive in silence.”
1 in 4: ‘I needed hope’
On Oct. 23, the Minnehaha County Family Violence Council hosted Take Back the Night, a candlelight vigil and intimate gathering that supported both victims and survivors of all ages in Sioux Falls.
Many college students attended the University of Sioux Falls event, like Southeast Tech graduate Morgan Malcomb, who in 2022 was held captive for days and severely beaten before she arrived at the emergency room, where her abuser was arrested.
She received the Survivor in Action Award at the Take Back the Night event.
Crisis advocate Linn Nelson shared her story, too, that night, of enduring 20 years’ worth of “narcissism, de-humanizing gaslighting and profound trauma” in an abusive marriage.
She left in 2016, then faced seven more years of post-divorce abuse. She still attends support groups today at CHSSD.
“I had severe PTSD and was so broken I couldn’t remember days,” Nelson said. “I needed hope that transcended logic and was bigger than me.”
These stories match one in four households nationwide that hide abuse. According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV), over 21,000 calls are made to hotlines every day asking for help.
And that’s from the ones who find the “courage” to call, says Deputy State's Attorney Collen Moran.
“When (a victim) calls the police, we know it has probably been one of the worst days of (their) life,” says Moran, who prosecutes felony cases in Minnehaha County. “It was a point where they just couldn’t take it anymore. But we want victims to know we are compassionate and supportive and hope all survivors can get to that point where they feel empowered.”
Outreach advocate JaeLynn Garry says once a victim can get past those feelings of isolation, a phone call can save a life.
“I can take that burden for you and face that with you,” she said during a panel presentation at Take Back the Night. She oversees law enforcement referrals and protection orders at CHSSD.
“Although you feel you don’t have control or power in your situation right now, you will have it someday, and I’m here to empower you to gain back that control,” Garry said.
‘Huge uptick’ in child pornography cases
Mitchell, whose work primarily covers Crimes Against Persons for Minnehaha and Lincoln counties, says that domestic violence is a “pattern of abusive behavior in an intimate relationship” that is used by one partner to “gain power and control” over the other.
All cases of intimidation, simple assault and aggravated assault are mandatory arrests in South Dakota, she says.
According to the NCADV, one in three adult women and one and four adult men have experienced “some form of physical violence by an intimate partner,” but South Dakota prosecutor Heather Knox says the likelihood of assault presents itself at a much earlier age.
She says she’s seeing a “huge uptick” in child pornography cases involving men ages 18 to 22. They’ve been online “since they were little kids” and have become “desensitized” to violence or empathy for assault victims, she says.
“I’m telling you, we need to be having conversations with boys and girls about consent, power and control, intimacy and sex," says Knox, who serves as both the human trafficking coordinator and the Project Safe Childhood coordinator for the District of South Dakota. "Our young adults need to be better educated to take better care of each other.”
Survivor and advocate Nelson says the ability to “reclaim safety” begins within. She had a “distorted self-perception” from childhood and met a “dead end” when looking at everyone else to define her identity. Years in support groups and therapy have helped her to “reject victimhood mentality” and “break the cycle.”
“A survivor needs to learn to love themselves,” she said.
The Compass Center, which recently integrated with Family Services Inc. and Move to Heal to become healing agency Solace, served over 1,000 community members last year, through crisis intervention and advocacy services. They now expect to see nearly 900 clients and 100 youth annually in clinical therapy at Solace.
Homicide victim remembered during vigil and Woki’ksu’ye
Sisters Mena and Hialle Keeble watched their mother die on Nov. 4.
The victim of the third homicide at Meadowland Apartments in Sioux Falls this year alone, Bonita “Bunz” Tawacin Keeble responded to a knock on her door at about 5 a.m., only to be shot by 18-year-old Kray Bluebird, the father of Hialle’s 1-year-old son, witnesses and family said.
He was charged Nov. 6 with three counts of first-degree murder, three counts of first-degree attempted murder, three counts of first-degree attempted burglary and grand theft and is now in jail on a $1,000,000 bond.
The Keeble family is close-knit, said friend and relative Sabra Greger during a candlelight vigil to honor Bonita.
Nearly 50 community members gathered outside the apartment complex under a full moon Nov. 5, with a drum circle, smudging ceremony, song and prayer while aunties, cousins and grandchildren held one another.
Mena, 21, was at the vigil with her 4-year-old daughter that night. The little girl had pigtails and stars on her pants and was carrying around a mini lantern for a grandmother she didn’t yet realize was gone.
Mena was hiding in her bedroom closet when her mother was shot in the living room the day before.
“She’s still in shock,” Greger says of Mena. Greger is Mena’s mother-in-law and helps to take care of Mena’s daughter.
“She doesn’t know how to feel,” Greger says. “It happened so fast.”
Who was Bonita Keeble?
As members of the Crow Creek Reservation in Fort Thompson, Bonita’s father, Wilfred Keeble, was once their tribal leader and today leads the annual Makatoh Reconciliation and Healing Horse Ride, a 16-day, 300-mile journey from Fort Thompson to Mankato, Minnesota, to honor the 38 Dakota men who were hanged in 1862.
Bonita, age 43, used to join her father on these rides, Greger says, and grew up as a Fancy Shawl Dancer for powwows. They were a “strong Indigenous family,” she said.
“Everybody loved her,” Greger says. “She was a big light, very lively and stood her ground.”
Sioux Falls Police Department Chief Jon Thum said on the morning of the homicide that law enforcement and emergency medical personnel were initially called to a “weapons violation” shortly after 5 a.m. near 43rd Street and Larch Avenue.
Multiple residents called about the incident in which multiple shots were fired, Thum said.
“The apartment is ruined,” Greger says. “There are gunshots everywhere.”
Police reports say Bonita died on the scene, but her daughters were shot at, too. Greger says Bluebird came to the apartment that morning looking for Hialle and wanting back a gun that allegedly belonged to him.
Hialle, 22, said she was shot in the hand and will need surgery to remove the bullet. The gunfire missed Mena.
“I love my daughter-in-law a lot,” Greger says. “I’m really in her corner, that’s my grandbaby’s mom. It’s just devastating to know she could not have been here anymore.”
Candlelight vigil includes message on domestic violence
Indigenous activist Tracii Barse hosted the candlelight vigil for Bonita on Wednesday night.
He said as a “community helper,” he used to patrol the Meadowland Apartment neighborhood, often seeing gang and drug violence and domestic abuse. Within three nights alone, he found and took three people to a treatment center, he said.
“Single mothers come to live (at Meadowland) and try to rebuild their life with their children,” said Barse, who grew up in Sioux Falls and says he sees his hometown as “multi-cultured, family-oriented.”
“But how are they supposed to live in a place that tells them they are welcome, then their safety is jeopardized?”
Community member Camille Battesse said at the vigil that she, too, was in mourning after recently losing her son and brother. She spoke of her experiences with domestic abuse and urged all those at the vigil to “love your daughters, your nieces and your granddaughters.
“Show them how to properly be loved," she said.
Barse says he sees a lot of domestic disputes at Meadowland.
“But the more we call for help, the less they are coming,” Barse said. “These little kids are becoming initiated to it. Babies heard the sound of the gun that night when it went off. We must mentor them accordingly, teach them resiliency and look after each other.”
The Keeble family prepares for Bonita’s funeral
Thum said the suspect, whom the department is reportedly familiar with, ran out of the apartment building after the shooting, still armed, and then barricaded himself in another. He was found a few hours later and taken into custody “without incident.”
SFPD Communication Officer Aaron Benson said Nov. 6 that the suspect’s charges have yet to be filed and that “no other information is being (released) at this time, as the investigation is ongoing.”
That information includes how the department is classifying the case, how old the suspect is and what charges that individual will face.
She was a good person, Mena says of her mom.
“She was always looking out for everybody, always so happy,” Mena says.
Greger says Bonita’s father is at home in Fort Thompson planning his daughter’s funeral. No date has been set.
“We came here tonight to sing for Bonita and anyone else before her,” Barse said. “We have a drum, we have words, we have a Woki’ksu’ye memorial. This is how you honor someone.”
Residents react to Meadowland murders
On April 4 of this year, 45-year-old Chitprasong Amphavannasouk was stabbed five times and found lying unresponsive in the hallway of one of the buildings at Meadowland Apartments in western Sioux Falls.
He died on the scene.
Two weeks later, 43-year-old Virgil Wayne Hawkwing III was also found with stab wounds two buildings down from the first homicide.
He died on the scene.
Seven months later, Bonita Keeble died in her apartment complex at Meadowlands as well, from multiple gunshot wounds in the early morning of Nov. 4. Her 22-year-old daughter was shot at the same time, with non-life-threatening injuries.
“When is someone going to take responsibility for what’s been going on at this apartment complex?” five-year resident Cheyenne Grosz said the day after Keeble’s death.
She said fellow residents want more “patrolling at night” and more support from management. But property officials and police confirm onsite presence to “address any concerns” that exist.
Sgt. Cole German said during a media briefing on Nov. 7 that the neighborhood “has an increased focus on our end” and that officials have “taken proactive steps to handle these types of incidents occurring there.”
Keeble is the 11th person to die by homicide in 2025 in Sioux Falls.
Meadowlands is part of the Crime-Free Multi-Housing Program
Sioux Falls Police Chief Jon Thum said back in April that the stabbing incidents were “not connected” and that they both occurred between people who knew each other.
The police department’s spokesman, Aaron Benson, said the day after Keeble’s homicide that her incident, too, was an “isolated,” domestic dispute.
But Grosz says residents are still spooked by the sound of gunshots in their neighborhood.
She was in her hallway the night before Keeble died when a neighbor asked if she had heard any “pops.” As they listened, “many” shots followed.
Asked whether those late-night gunshots were related to Keeble’s shooting the next morning, Benson said police were “still investigating.”
Thomas, the property manager at Meadowlands, says the complex has 120 units, with only six vacancies. There are new residents and others who’ve been there for 20 years, he says.
Thomas said he wasn't allowed to use his last name for the story, citing company policy, and regional manager Kristi Miller confirmed he "cannot" use his last name.
School districts for Meadowland are Oscar Howe Elementary, Memorial Middle School and Roosevelt High School.
Meadowlands is run by Costello Property Management, which owns nearly 1,400 apartment units across South Dakota, Nebraska and Wyoming. Nearly 95% of those complexes are involved in federally subsidized, affordable housing programs. As a Costello property, all complexes include onsite management and 24-hour maintenance.
Thomas says there are security cameras at the doorways of all 10 buildings at the complex and 24-hour lighting above two parking lots on the north and south sides.
But some cameras are ripped off, Grosz says, and some are broken. When she asked management if there was more they could do to protect the neighborhood, she claimed she was told, “the cameras are good enough.”
SFPD community resource officer Kyle Johnson says Meadowlands is often patrolled and is also a member of the city’s Crime-Free Multi-Housing Program, a partnership between the SFPD and local property owners to “reduce criminal activity in rental communities.”
He says the prevention process includes management training, security surveys and background requirements for residents. The program offers updated hardware, locks and adequate lighting, and all residents are made aware that their complex is a participant.
“We have a good business relationship with our residents,” says Thomas, who’s managed the property for five years. “And we have a very good relationship with our law enforcement. Part of our job is to interact every day with our residents and help them find a solution if there is a problem.”
But if it’s criminal activity, Thomas says, the residents are told to call the SFPD.
Calls from Meadowland include assault, disorderly conduct, drug use
Grosz lives at Meadowland with her 14-year-old granddaughter. She wants to leave to protect her, she said, but she wants to stay because her granddaughter is finally adjusting to a difficult move from Rapid City and is enjoying school at Roosevelt.
“We stay home a lot, and my door is always locked,” she says.
Grosz installed a personal camera outside her own door, where she has captured “significant drug traffic, even during the day.” Grosz said she submitted footage to Miller but that a solution for improved security has not yet been made.
Miller said she would not confirm whether the footage was received.
“Tenants are not being treated well,” said Indigenous activist Tracii Barse. He hosted a candlelight vigil on Nov. 5 for Keeble and says single mothers often move to Meadowlands to try and “rebuild their life with their children.”
“But they are not being heard when they ask for assistance,” Barse says. “Their safety at the complex is being jeopardized.”
SFPD detective Melinda Mitchell told the Argus Leader last month that more than 1,300 domestic dispute reports are made in Sioux Falls annually. According to the City of Sioux Falls’ Crime Viewer, 12 of those assault reports have been made directly from Meadowlands this year so far.
In other calls to the department this year, Crime Viewer lists that 198 have been made from that neighborhood for disorderly conduct, 17 for drug use, 12 for weapon violations, five for vandalism and five for theft.
“It’s worse than ever before,” said Meadowland resident B.E. Marriaeux. He’s lived there for five years. “This is my baby’s home, this is all she knows. For (this) to keep happening is horrible, especially when it’s people we know.”
Kids who live at Meadowlands need a safe space
One of the stabbings from last spring happened in the same complex where resident Crystal Twiggs lives. She was one of the residents to call the SFPD.
“It’s terrifying being here,” Twiggs says. She has a teenager who lives with her, of whom knows Keeble’s two daughters, Mena and Hialle Keeble, also tenants of Meadowland.
Twiggs says most residents at Meadowland are from the Fort Thompson area, many of whom are grandparents raising their grandchildren or young mothers and their kids.
Grosz claimed that most incidents at Meadowland “happen from people who don’t live here. They come here for drug and alcohol parties.
“But that puts the residents in danger,” she added.
Barse, among others who were there, live-streamed Bonita’s vigil. More than 10,000 people watched, and hundreds shared.
“You all showed up in a beautiful way last night, a strong way, a courageous way, a way of showing who we are,” Brosz said to his social media followers. “I encourage you to speak and be heard.
“To the others, humble yourself and help your people,” he said.
Where are the suspects now in the Meadowlands homicides?
In the fatal stabbings last spring, 35-year-old Jordan Benedict Adams was charged with second-degree murder, first-degree manslaughter and aggravated assault in the death of Amphavannasouk. He remains in the Minnehaha County Jail, pending a jury trial scheduled for January.
In Hawkwing III’s death on April 18, 25-year-old Kaleb Daniel Martin was charged with second-degree murder and first-degree manslaughter. He remains in the Minnehaha County Jail, also pending a jury trial expected in January.
On Nov. 6, 18-year-old Kray Cleveland Bluebird was charged with three counts of first-degree murder, three counts of first-degree attempted murder, three counts of first-degree attempted burglary and grand theft in the death of Keeble. He is being held in the Minnehaha County Jail on a $1,000,000 bond
Neighborhood ‘unsafe’ after fourth homicide in 2024
Officials with the Sioux Falls Police Department have confirmed that a Wednesday night shooting resulted in what is now being investigated as the city's seventh homicide of 2024.
Tanisha Bruguier, 27, died from a gunshot wound to the torso in the incident. Lifesaving measures were unsuccessful, and Bruguier was reported dead at the scene.
Police spokesman Sam Clemens said officers were called at about 11 p.m. to a trailer home in the 6000 block of West Tanager Place for reports of gunshots.
When they arrived, they found a home that had been struck by multiple bullets — the same house, Clemens said, that was shot about 16 times in an incident on Aug. 31. He said investigators believe the house was targeted on both Saturday and Wednesday nights, but it's unclear why it was targeted or who was targeted.
When officers were called to Tanager Place, 44-year-old Michael Spath II answered the door, and was uninjured, Clemens said. But Bruguier was found dying in a back bedroom facing north toward Fifth Street.
Clemens confirmed that Spath II was then arrested at about midnight Wednesday night at the house where Bruguier was found shot. He was charged with two counts of possession of a firearm by a former violent offender and also for maintaining a place where drugs are kept, sold or used, Minnehaha County court documents state. He was also arrested for possession of a controlled substance and paraphernalia, but the state declined to file those charges.
It's unclear whether the victim was a resident of the home or a visitor, but court records list that Spath II lived in the same home where the homicide occurred. A county property tax search shows Spath did not own the home.
Spath II is being held in the Minnehaha County Jail on a $30,000 bond and will have a preliminary hearing Sept. 19. As of Monday morning, Lt. Aaron Nyberg said there had been no new developments in the case they could share as the investigation continues.
Neighbors are 'paranoid'
Garbage day was Friday on Tanager Place. All the cans were lined along the neighborhood awaiting pick-up, lawns were freshly cut, gardens were full, and bikes were in the driveways while shoes sat on the doorsteps.
Students playing recess at Hayward Elementary School one block south could be heard outside.
After a fatal shooting in the neighborhood on Wednesday night, the atmosphere was an attempted return to normal on a sunny day.
“I’m not in fear, but I am concerned,” said Troy Potts, whose home is on the same street the fatality took place.
He has lived in the neighborhood for more than 20 years and said he has otherwise felt safe biking and walking the area on nice days.
Potts said he heard gunshots Wednesday night but not the Saturday before. A few other neighbors also said they never heard gunshots Saturday, just the ones on Wednesday night, when Bruguier was shot.
“So, did they catch him?” Potts asked about the suspect(s) who shot at the home.
Clemens said no arrests in connection with Saturday's or Wednesday's incidents have been made, and police are still asking the public for any information they may have.
A few houses down from Potts, resident Maynor Reyes Uricar said he was asleep in his home with his wife and two young children when he heard gunshots Wednesday night.
“It’s scary now, with my kids in the home,” he said.
Another neighbor, who is also a parent and asked not to be identified for the fear of becoming a target in a potentially already targeted situation in her neighborhood, said they also were in bed when they heard gunshots Wednesday night. Their bedroom faced north toward Fifth Street, just like the side of the house that was shot at multiple times.
“At first I stayed silent when I heard the gunshot,” the neighbor said. “I had my baby with me, and I was home alone. Then, I got a spooky feeling, so I called the non-emergency line to come out here.”
They said they checked the yard and assured safety. They also said police officers knocked on all doors on the street at about 2 a.m., alerting them to stay inside their homes and ask whether they knew anything or saw anything.
“I’m already paranoid and have an extra lock on my screen door,” the neighbor said, who also shared that other neighbors weren't even sure whether anyone was living in the home Bruguier was found dead. “I'm relieved that we’re moving to a new neighborhood at the end of the month."
Another resident on the street, Chris Lipp, also has his house for sale and said he and his wife plan to move soon.
Delayed determination of death
The shooting was originally reported in a press release late Thursday afternoon, confirming Bruguier had died but not specifying whether she had been shot.
Clemens said the delay between the shooting and the determination that the woman's death was homicide was due to the need to perform an autopsy, saying that authorities had wanted to rule out the possibility that Bruguier's cause of death had been a drug overdose.
Police did find drug residue at the home during the investigation, but from what kind of drug was not immediately available, Clemens said. He said the residue may be sent to a state lab for testing, but also clarified no arrests had been made in connection with the unknown substance.
"There used to be no danger here," Reyes Uricar said.
Parent speaks out after son’s death by shooting
Crystal Boehrns spoke frantically, like sentences with no commas from a mother who hadn’t slept in days.
Like a mother who was tired of repeating herself.
“Please don’t tell me you’re sorry,” she said.
“Please just stop asking me what you can do,” she said.
“Nothing will bring him back,” she said.
“Please,” she said twice more.
Boehrns is a 37-year-old grieving parent who has more than 50 text messages on her phone, even more on social media, calls that keep coming, voicemails, knocks on her door, family “bombarding” and a copy-and-paste response for them all:
Please just let me be.
At about 3 a.m. Aug. 20, Boehrns awoke to the knocks that started it all, from two police officers at her door telling her that one of her children was in the hospital with a life-threatening gunshot wound to the face. It would be more than an hour before she got to see him.
Only then, it would be to say goodbye.
Deontaé Montrell Boehrns, who turned 17 last month, died that same morning when Boehrns herself had to take him off life support. He was the second of her seven children, a “spicy” teenager who “just wanted to be free, Mom.” She said he was handsome, a caring friend, hard-headed, a good brother, and “at the wrong house at the wrong time.”
“I feel like I could scream at the top of my lungs right now and then sit there for hours not breathing,” she said. “I’m just so angry. It’s a lot.”
Read about what happened:A Sioux Falls woman, her 13-year-old son charged after a 17-year-old dies in 'accidental shooting'
According to a written affidavit by Lt. Carter Hand, with the Sioux Falls Police Department, Boehrns’ son was the victim of what was investigated as an “accidental shooting” and later deemed a homicide in the bedroom of a 13-year-old while a few friends were playing video games in the middle of the night.
Two handguns were in the room, one of which was stolen from an unlocked car the week prior – the one that stole Deontaé’s life.
But, according to Boehrns, her son was “unfortunately” in a home he had never been in before and shot by a 13-year-old he never knew.
She said he went to the house with his best friend, went upstairs to an unfamiliar bedroom and sat on a computer chair next to a couple Xbox consoles. Boehrns said she was told that Deontaé wasn’t even aware there was a gun in the room until the 13-year-old started holding it up to her son’s face in jest.
“Accident or not," she said, “it still happened.”
Among the four or five kids in the bedroom where the shooting occurred, Deontaé was the oldest.
After initial statements from witnesses first reported that Deontaé “shot himself,” as noted in the affidavit, Boehrns said she was told the truth of what happened that night by her son’s best friend.
She said Deontaé’s best friend was the one who was sitting right next to Deontaé when he died, and he’s the one who provided an accurate account to the detectives after the 13-year-old’s mother was charged with false reporting. The mother, Savannah Randle, 33, of Sioux Falls, was also charged with accessory to manslaughter and nine counts of child abuse in relation to the case.
Boehrns said Deontaé’s best friend, who has had “a rough couple of days,” was at the ER with her, worried for his friend, and that he is the one she trusts.
“Everyone else was so scared to tell the truth,” Boehrns said, expressing frustration that detectives “didn't even get the story right” when they finally told her in the ER what had even happened to her son.
The mother of the best friend, age 16, could not be reached for comment, and the teenager was not publicly identified in court documents because of his age.
“I don’t know any mother who could sit by and allow my son to suffer the way she did just to cover her own son’s wrongdoing," Boehrns said. "It’s wrong.”
Support from schools
Two days later, Broehns awoke steadfastly to still ensure Deontaé’s siblings arrived at both Edison Middle School and Laura Wilder Elementary for their first day of school.
It’s where they are safest right now, Boehrns said. His younger siblings range in age from 6 to 13.
“I just want them to have recess,” she said. “I want them to go and make friends. I don’t want them to feel stressed. I want them to know that everything is going to be OK.”
As for Deontaé, he was a student at Axtell Park. Just two weeks ago, Boehrns said her son told her, “I’m going to make sure I finish school for you, Mom.” She said he had a new job, a new checking account they had just opened for him at the bank and that he wanted to “save up” to get his own home.
“This is what I want to do for you, Mom,” he told her before what would have been his first day of senior year.
Boehrns said she is grateful for the compassion that the schools have shown to her family and friends.
“My kids have nothing but the best support there," she said.
DeeAnn Konrad, the community relations coordinator at the Sioux Falls School District, says their crisis teams have skilled staff to respond to grief for both students and their families.
“It’s an unfortunate necessity we need to have,” Konrad said. “Of course, we always look at the academic needs of the child, but the social and emotional needs are critically important to help get them the best education they can. And if a student is having challenges working through their emotions, we make sure they receive all the support we have available.”
Tory Stolen, a multimedia specialist for the Sioux Falls School District, added that the crisis teams act as a liaison between the students and their families and local agencies, such as the Helpline Center, Southeastern Behavioral Health, Avera Counseling Services and the Sioux Empire United Way's PATH program, which provides counseling sessions at the schools for K-12.
'Not the city I grew up in'
Anthony Cortez said Deontaé was “a good kid.”
Deontaé had just started working for Cortez at Boston’s Pizza Restaurant & Sports Bar. They hadn't even been open a month when Cortez received a phone call about Deontaé.
“This has affected everyone here,” said Cortez, who is general manager at the new restaurant inside the Sioux Falls Ramada. “These kids are young, we’re still building bonds and connecting with one another.”
Deontaé has relatives who work at the restaurant and at the hotel, so the tragedy has been personal. A sign at the host stand shows a picture of Deontaé, with a GoFundMe link to support his family.
A new restaurant, still settling in, still meeting new customers, and in grief.
“This is just not the city I grew up in,” Cortez said, who has worked in management for nearly 20 years and is raising a family in Sioux Falls.
“I’m a gun owner myself, and I have three daughters,” he said. “They know the severity of what happens when guns are not dealt with properly.”
Cortez said that further community safety initiatives need to be in place as gun violence increases in our community and that local gun owners need to be sure their guns are secure.
An Argus Leader review in 2022 of stolen gun data reported that most guns in the state at that time were stolen from unlocked vehicles, like the handgun stolen in Deontaé’s case. South Dakota law enforcement officers also stated at the time that the number of minors involved in stealing those guns is increasing.
“We’ve seen a number of cases where juveniles are using stolen guns in committing different crimes,” said Sgt. Paul Creviston in the 2022 article.
Lastly, data from The Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms (ATF) showed in 2022 that the most commonly stolen gun in South Dakota in 2020 was a 9-milimeter handgun, the same gun that was used when Deontaé was fatally shot.
“Gun safety needs to be prioritized in education,” he said. “You see this in video games but, in reality, you don’t get to come back from that.”
Boehrns said that, before her son was shot, the kids in the bedroom were likely playing “Call of Duty: Modern Warfare,” a first-person shooter video game in which defenseless characters are killed with no motive. According to the Pew Research Center, over half of U.S. gamers younger than 18 play violent games like this.
The report, published in May, also states over half of teens who play video games do say the social activity helps with their problem-solving skills. Nearly half also share that they have made a friend online because of playing a video game. But 80% of young gamers think harassment and bullying while gaming "is a problem for people their age."
Cortez said his team appreciated Deontaé for who he was. “It’s just sad that it resulted in what it did,” he said.
Honoring a teenager's life
Stolen said that classrooms or classmates cannot organize vigils or memorials on school grounds for a friend who died. But Boehrns’ friends have set up a GoFundMe website to support her family, and they celebrated the life of Deontaé on Wednesday, at the George Boom Funeral Home in Sioux Falls.
“I want everyone to know that my baby deserves to be acknowledged,” Broehns said. “He was always finding the positive, and I want to give that back.”
Family and friends, more than 100 of them, all wore black and red to the funeral, with matching sweatshirts that said “Long Live Deontaé” on the back and a photo of him on the front. Another sweatshirt read, “Forever screaming, I'll forever rep yo name.”
There were red roses atop his casket, young kids consoling their mothers, and Deontaé’s siblings close by their mother's side while Boyz II Men and Mariah Carey’s “One Sweet Day” played in the background.
And I know you’re shining down on me from heaven
Like so many friends we’ve lost along the way
And I know eventually we’ll be together
One sweet day
“We got to find some light in this,” said Deontaé’s “unc” Joshua Durrah. Durrah helped Deontaé get the job at Boston’s and had been encouraging him to finish school and stay on the right track.
“In honor of my nephew, I want to start a nonprofit called Breaking Cycles,” he said. “The nonprofit will help to prevent gun violence, sexual abuse and all the other things that kids should not have to go through here.”
Among Durrah, gathered other aunts and uncles, cousins and siblings, dressed in sharp black tuxedos and huddling close together in mourning. People kept pulling into the parking lot, car by car, to go in and quietly honor Deontaé.
Durrah knew grief. He lost his brother, Deontaé’s father, in 2022, and he lost his mother the year before that.
“It's taking me a lot to be here today and to be in a right place,” he said, dressed in a bright red shirt and holding his daughter, Lou. “We have to channel this energy into a positive light and help to prevent this from happening to somebody else.”
Deontaé was on the right track, his mother said. She stood solemnly by her son’s open casket Wednesday and was surrounded by loved ones as she stood to greet guests at the visitation.
He was “happy in the last days of his life,” she said, and she was excited for him.
Now she’s without him, and she said she just wants to be left alone.
“I am grateful for all your support,” she said, speaking to all the calls and texts and thoughtful outreach. “But I’ve done this for 17 years by myself. I've never asked for any help. What you can do now is just … when you see me, just give me a hug.”